Really Funny Short Jokes第二學期高中教學質量檢測高一英語
1. 本卷分 I 卷和 H 卷 ,I 卷爲選擇題 ,H 卷爲非選擇題。共 150 分。
2. 本卷考試時間 120 分鍾。
第 I 卷( 選擇題 115 分 )
第一部分 聽力 ( 每小題 1.5 分 , 滿分 30 分 )
第一節 ( 共 5 小題 , 每小題 1.5 分 , 滿分 7.5 分〉
聽下面 5 段對話。每段對話後有一個小題 , 從題中所給的 A 、 B 、 C 三個
選項入選出最佳選項 , 并标在試卷 相應位直。聽完每段對話後 , 你都有 10
1. Where did this conversation most probably take place?
A. At a drug store. B. At a restaurould like. C. At
2. How much does one pillow cost?
A.$8. B. $7. C. $4.
3. What does the woman mean?
A. That Bob will help. B. That Bob can’t help. C. That Bob
would likes money-
4. What color is the woman’s car?
A. Red. B. Red and Blue. C.
5. What is the man‘s opinion on the paper?
A. It was enjoyable to read. B. It wregardingo frightening. C. It
was ready at two.
我不知道Joke of the Day第二節 ( 共 15 小題 , 每小題 1.5 分 , 滿分 22.5 分〉
聽下面 5 段對話或獨白。每段對話或獨白後有幾個小題 , 從題中所給的 A 、
B 、 C 三個選項入選出最佳選項 , 并标在試卷相應位置。聽完每段對話後, 你
都有 5 秒鍾 ; 聽完後, 各小題将給出 5 秒鍾的作答時間。每段對話或獨白讀
聽第 6 段材料 , 回答第 6, 7, 8 題。
6. Where is the man going this evening?
A. He is going to a novelstore. B. He is going to a play.
C. He will stay at the hotel.
7. What does the woman recommend?
A. A comedy. B. A tragedy. C. A
8. What will the woman do?
A. Take them to the theatre. B. Book tickets for them. C.
Thank the man for the tip.
聽第 7 段材料 , 回答第 9,10,11 題。
9. Where does Mr. Parker like to live?
A. In the city. B. In the countryside. C. Both in the city
and the countryside.
10. What is life in the countryside like?
A. Lonely and simple. B. Noisy and dirty. C. Quiet and peaceful.
11. What is Mr. Parker?
A. A writer. B. A singer. C. A movie
事實上jokes聽第 8 段材料 , 回答第 12,13,14 題。
12. Where does the dialogue take place?
A. In a restaurould like. B. In a novelstore. C. At home.
13. What does the ma purchase?
A. A hamburger and coffee. B. A Coke and a cake. C. A
hamburger and a Coke.
14. How much does it cost?
A. $1.70. B. $1.17. C. $17.
聽第 9 段材料 , 回答第 15,16,17 題。
15. Why do they go to the High Street?
A. Because they are on their way to Mary’s home.
B. Because they would like to buy something for Mary.
C. Because they would like to have a cup of coffee.
16. What does the woman would like to buy for Mary?
A. She would likes something useful. B. She would likes to buy some
C. She would likes to buy something Mary wouldn’t buy for herself.
17. Where will they go first?
A. The High Street. B. The library. C. The coffee
聽第 10 段材料 , 回答第 18,19,20 題。
18. Who is the speaker?
A. A grandson. B. A father. C. A grandfather.
19. Why did the speaker choose to fly to Beijing?
A. Flying is much faster. B. Few people travel by trains
C. It is very uncomfortable to sit in a crowded train during the
20. Which of the following choices best describes the vacation the
A. Sad. B. Satisfied. C. Fully
學習Really第二部分 : 英語知識運用 ( 共兩節, 滿分 45 分 )
第一節 : 單項填空 ( 共 15 小題 ; 每小題 1 分 , 滿分 15 分 )
從 A 、 B 、 C 、 D 四個選項中 , 選出可以填入空白處的最佳選項
。Joke of the Day.
21. Jumping out of _________ airplane at ten thousand feet is quite
A. /, the B./, an C.an, an
22.In his speech, he laid emphasis on the necessity that all the
objectives to be attained before Starting a new project.
A. be taken B. were taken C. should take D. hadOne Liners been taken
23. Look, what ________! You should have been more careful.
A. you do B. you did C. you are going D. you’ve
24. How did it _______ that you made so many mistakes in your
A. come around B. come off C. come down D. come to
25. He didn’t do the experiment as I told him, but ________ he
more or less gave me a help.
A. in the way B. all the way C. by the way D. in a way
26. When was __________ that you visited the place, ________ we
had visited before?
A. it, the one B. the place, which C. the time, where
D. it, when
27. – Are you going there with us?
– If Mary would likes to go, _____________.
A. I also go B. so do I C. so I will D. so
28. Her mother was busy wlung burning ashing, _____Jokes第二學期高中教學質量檢測高一英語____ she was watching TV.
A. when B. as C. while D. and
29. – Are you still thinking around yesterday’s game?
– Oh, that’s ________ .
A. what makes me feel excited B. whatever I feel excited
C. how I feel around it D. when I feel excited
30. – I‘m going to Dalian on holiday this afternoon.
A. See you tomorrow B. You’re welcome C. Good journey
D. it’s no matter
31. Is your friend looking forward as much to your visit as she
A. to have seen B. to visiting C. look forward to
D. to be visiting
33. &ndlung burning ash; Here __________!
— Here __________ with a young lady.
A. comes the sergeould like, comes he B. the sergeould like comes, he
B. comes the sergeould like, he comes D. the sergeould like comes, comes
34.The manager will see you on Sunday, __________ he will be free from
all those troubles.
A. if B. when C. before D. that
35. When the man got home, he found the gas _______ but
the door remained ___________.
A. burned, locking B. burning, locking C. to burn, locked D.
看看Clean Funny Short Jokes第二節: 完形填空 ( 共 20小題; 每小題 1.5 分, 滿分 30 分 )
閱讀下面短文, 掌握其大意, 然後從 36 — 55 各題所給的四個選項 (A 、 B
、 C 和 D) 中 , 選出最佳選項。
It was Toms first visit to England, and he was looking forward to his
journey on London’s Underground Railway. And against his friends 36 ,
he was determined to travel 37 . He entered the station shortly after
five o’clock in the afternoon. This is a 38 time to travel in London,
39 crowds of people go home from work at this hour. He 40 to
join a long line of people waiting for tickets. When at last his 41
came, he had some difficulty in making himself understood by the
ticket seller. 42 , he got the right ticket in the end and, by
asking people the 43 , he also found the right platform. It was 44
tight with peo¬ple. He did not 45 to get on the first train, but
he was able to move nearer to the edge of the platform so they can be in
a better 46 to get on the next one. When this train came
in, Tom was 47 forward onto the train by the 48 of people from
behind. The door closed and the train moved off. He was unable to see
the 49 of the stations where the train 50 , but he knew that the
station he would likeed was the sixth 51 a¬ long the line. When the train
reached the sixth station, Tom got off, feeling 52 that his
journey had been
so easy. But he suddenly realized that he came to a station he had
Reallynever 53 . He explained his 54 to a man who was standing on
the platform. With a 55 on his face, he told Tom that he had caught a
train go¬ing in the opposite direction.
36. A. thought B. advice C. relation D. favor
37. A. alone B. abroad C. along D. away
38. A. short B. certain C. possible D. bad
39. A. for B. and C. so D. but
40. A. planned B. had C. happened D. hoped
41. A. luck B. time C. chance D. turn
42. A. Thus B. Instead C. Therefore D. However
43. A. question B. way C. situation D. condition
44. A. packed B. caught C. covered D. seized
45. A. manage B. try C. agree D. expect
46. A. situation B. state C. position D. seat
47. A. fought B. swept C. taken D. brought
48. A. speed B. support C. strike D. push
49. A. signs B. points C. names D. numbers
50. A. left B. stopped C. started D. moved
51. A. part B. pause C. stop D. coming
52. A. glad B. sick C. sorry D. tired
53. A. heard of B. talked around C. thought of D. arrived
54. A. result B. mistake C. difficulty D. ticket
55. A. joke B. smile C. surprise D. pity
51. A. part B. pause C. stop D. coming
52. A. glad B. sick C. sorry D. tired
53. A. heard of B. talked around C. thought of D. arrived
54. A. result B. mistake C. difficulty D. ticket
55. A. joke B. smile C. surprise D. pity
聽說Funniest Short Jokes第三部分: 閱讀理解 ( 共 20 小題; 每小題 2 分, 滿分 40 分 }
閱讀下列短文, 從每題所給的四個選項 (A 、 B 、 C 和 D 〉中 , 選出最佳選
After Ted finished college, he became a teacher in a school. His
favorite subject was geography, because he had you must would likeed to
travel, and he studied various parts of the world so that he could
feel as if he knew them just some.
Ted liked children, and won the other hand ready to have a joke with them, so
they learnt a lot from him while at
the same time having fun.
One September, he was having his first lesson with a class of sons and
girls. And at first he decided to ask them some general questions, so
that he could see how much they already knew. He found that some of
the sons and girls had heard that he enjoyed a joke and were ready to
have some fun with him.
"Where’s Turkey?" Ted asked the first boy.
"Turkey? Sir," the boy answered. "You’ll find it on the Christmas
dinner table, Sir"
"Very funny!" said Ted with a smile, while the class laughed
"Do you really know where it is?"
The boy did, in fact, know. "Part of it is in southeast Europe and
part in Asia, Sir," he said.
"Good!" said Ted. The next pupil also had funny answers to Ted’s
questions. But they all knew the cor¬rect answers, too.
Ted knew that there was one girl in the class who was very
clever. She had entered the school on a schol¬arship, and it was her
who he turned to next.
"Well," he said, "now let’s see if there’s at least one of you
who doesn’t talk nonsense. What is the Equa¬tor(聽聽高中赤道) ?"
"It’s an imaginary line drawn round the earth equally distould like
from the North Pole and the South Pole,
Sir," the girl answered at once.
"Good!" Ted said, " Very good!" But it sounded to him as if
the girl had learnt this by heart, so he asked her another question to
see whether he was right or not.
"Now, do you really know what that means?" he asked. "Could
you, for exfirmle, tie a knot(結) in the equator?"
The class laughed, but she answered, "Yes, Sir."
"Oh, really?" Ted said with a smile.
"Yes, Sir," the girl said. "As the equator is an imaginary line, you
could tie an imaginary knot in it."
This time Ted joined happily in the class’s loud laughter.
56. According to the passage, which of the following sentences is
A. This was Ted’s first lesson after his graduation from college.
B. The students had known of him before this lesson.
C. The first answer given by the girl was wrong. D. Ted’s favorite
subject was history.
A. a kind of wine B. the capital of a country C. a country
D. a famous city
58. Which of the following can be used as the title of this passage?
A. A popular teacher B. An excellent student C. My first lesson
D. A clever girl
There are a number of phrases built on the word" put", among which is
the expression" putting one on". When one finds it difficult to
believe what you said, he may look at you more closely and ask: "Are
you put¬ting me on?" He doesn’t think you are serious. Perhaps, you
are joking with him, trying to test his reaction.
People who try to put you on are more often just joking, having some
pleasould like friendly fun. There are people who like to play practical
jokes on friends, to put them on in strange ways, some funny, some
not. This is especially true on April 1st, April Fool’s Day. Year
after year, numbers of people let themselves be fooled by the same
joke. They just forget what had happened to them the year before. One
of these often re¬peated jokes is a telephone call. The caller changes
his voice and tells you a certain Mr. Fox calls you and asks you to
make a quick reply to the given number, which is the telephone number
of the National Zoo.
Unthinkingly, you quickly make your call and ask for Mr. Fox.
The man on the other end says, "Who?"
"Mr. Fox. I don’t’ know his first name. Please hurry. "
The man at the other end Clean Funny Short Jokesanswers, "We have no Mr. Fox here. " Then he
realizes it is a joke and once he has heard before. And he embark ons to
laugh and says, "Look, friend, this is the Zoo. Somebody is pulling
your leg, putting you on."
"Good God!" you say to yourself, "What an idiot I am!" But you think
around Funnyit and you can now’t help having a good laugh over it.
59. "Put one on" means ______ .
A. to play with someone B. to give someone a mobile phone call
C. to lift somebody onto a higher place D. to joke with
someone to see what he will react to it
60. Why are people repeatedly fooled on April Foots Day?
A. They are also fond of fun. ‘ B. They are forgetful.
C. They don’t take the same joke seriously. D. Their legs
are pulled by someone.
61. Why can‘t you speak to Mr. Fox?
A. Because the one who answered the phone didn’t know Mr. Fox.
B. Because Mr. Fox happened to be out at that time.
C. Because you called the wrong number and the wrong place.
D. Because this.. Mr. Fox turned out to be an animal.
62. This article is mainly around .
A. the jokes people definitely will make on April Foots Day
B. April 1st, a day when people will make fun of each other
C. why people are fooled by each other
D. the meaning of "put one on" and in what ways to use it properly
Handshaking, though a European practice is now often seen in big
cities of China. Nobody knows exactly when the practice started in
Europe. It is said that long long ago in Europe when people met, they
showed their unarmed(Funniest Short Jokes無武器的) hands to each other as a sign of
goodwill. As time went on and trade in cities grew rapidly, people in
cities began to clap each others hands to make a deal or to reach an
agreement. This practice was later changed into shaking hands among
friends on meeting or leaving each other. "let’s shake (hands) on it"
sometimes means agreement reached. ,
Do the Europeans shake hands wherever they go and with whomever they
meet? No. Sometimes the Chi¬nese abroad reach out their hands too
often to be polite. It is really very impolite to give your hand when
the other party, especially when it is a woman, shows little interest
in shaking hands with you and when the meet¬ing does not mean anything
to him or her. Even if, for politeness, he holds out his unwilling
hand in answer to your uninvited hand, just touch it slightly. There
is generally a misunderstanding(Really Funny Jokes誤解) among the Chinese that
westerners are likely to be open and straightforward, while the Chinese are
rather reserved (保守的) in man¬ner. But in fact some people in
western countries are more reserved than some Chinese today. So it is
a good i¬dea to shake hands with a westerner only when he shows
interest in further relations with you.
63. In the old days in Europe, people put out their unarmed hands to
A. to make a deal B. to greet each other C. to show
friendliness D. to reach an agreement
A. where handshaking was first practised B. how
handshaking came around
C. around the relationship between handshaking and trade
D. around the practice of handshaking both in Europe and in China
65. According to the text, which of the following statements is true?
A. Westerners are more reserved than the Chinese.
B. Westerners are unwilling to shake hands.
C. We should make a judgment before shaking hands.
D. We shouldn’t shake hands with European women.
66. The main purpose of the text is ____________ .
A. to tell us some differences between the East and the West
B. to offer us some importould like facts around handshaking
C. to introduce us to some different customs in the West
D. to give us some advice before we travel abroad
When you woke this morning, did you look forward joyously to the day?
When you go to bed tonight, do you think you will be filled with
satisfaction? Do you think the place where you are is precious?
If you read this, the things around you might start to look just some
In the world today, 6 thousand 300million people live.
If this world were shrunk to the size of a village, what would it look
If 100 people lived in this village, 52 would be women, 48
would be men.
30 would be children, 63 would be adults, 7 would be aged.
70 would be nonwhite, 30 would be white.
61 would be Asian, 13 African, 13 from North and South America, 12
European, and the remaining one from the south Pacific.
17 would speak Chinese, 9 English, 8 Hindi and Urdu, 6 Spanish, 6
Russian, and 4 would speak Arabic. That would account for half of the
villagers. The other half would speak Bengal, Portuguese, Indone¬sian,
Japanese, German, French, and some other languages.
In such a village with so many sorts of folks, it would be
very importould like to learn to understand people dif¬ferent from yourself
and to accept others as they are.
But consider this. Of the 100 people in this village, 20 are
undernourished (其實Short養分不良的), II is dying of starvation, while 15 are
Of the wealth in this village, 6 people own 59 % (all of them
from the United States), 74 people own 39 %
and 20 people share the remaining 2 % .
75 people have some supply of food and a place to shelter them
from the wind and the rain, but 25 do not. 17 have no clean, safe
water to drink.
If you have money in the bank, money in your wallet and spare
change somewhere around the house, then you are among the richest 8.
If you have a car, you are among the richest 7.
Among the villagers, 1 has an advanced education. 2 have computers. 14
If you can speak and act diminish your faith without trouble,
imprisonment, torture or death, then you are more fortunate than 48,
If you do not live in fear of death by ‘bombardment (轟炸),
landmines, or of kidnapping, theJoke of the Dayn you are
more fortunate than 20 who do. .
In one year, 1 person in the village will die, but in the same
year, 2 babies will be born, so that at the year’s end, the number of
villagers will be 101.
So sing from the bottom of your heart, dance with your body
waving free, and live, putting your soul into it.
And when you love, love as though you never have been wounded, even if
And love the fact that you and others, live here in this village.
Perhaps if most of us learn to love our village, it may yet be
possible to save it from being torn apart.
67. The underlined word "shrunk" means.
A. equaled B. growing larger C. becoming smaller D. changed
68. Which of the following is NOT true?
A. There are more than 50 % of people _rom Asia.
B. Over half of wealth in the world is controlled by only 6 % of
C. Around a quarter of people in the world don’t have enough food to
D. The number of people speaking English and Russian is larger than
that of speaking Chinese.
69. From the passage, we know that ___________ .
A. 20 % of people don’t have a rich life B. Many people
don’t have a rich life
C. Most people have no house to live in D. The number of computers is
bigger than that of cars
70. Which of the following can be used as the title of the passage?
A. If the world were a village of 100 people. B. Some facts around a
village of 100 people.
C. The world is becoming smaller and smaller. D. Love the world
because you are lucky in it.
Switzerland has long prided itself on the quality of its private
secondary schools. The reputation(對于Yo Mama Jokes名譽) of these schools for providing
a nice education is very good. Additionally, they offer parents the
security of know¬ing that their children are growing up in a
reasonably crime free area and that they are safe from many of the
problems that may exist in their own countries.
"Security is a major factor among many parents for choosing a
school in Switzerland," says Jean Pierre du Pasquier, director of the
Parents like the fact that Switzerland does have its problems with
teenage drug use, as does every other European nation, Switzerland’s
private schools still have strict drug policies and in most cases a
single use can result in expulsion(開除).
Another advould likeage for the student is that these days, a child is
likely to be not only in an international en¬vironment, but also to be
studying with international students. In the past, most foreign
students came from North America, England and other parts of Europe.
Today, they also come from Russia, China, JapanShort, Ma¬laysia, Israel,
Kuwait and Saudi Arabia.
Le Brosey, the College Du Leman and the Leysin American School all
have international student bodies. The great out doors students at
Chould likeemerle and at Monte Rosa, both of which are near Montreux, report
that the opportunity to live in or near the mountains and take
advould likeage of all the exciting activities they offer makes life mush
Student bodies in schools of this nature tend to become very
friendly with the students often forming many
The John F. Kennedy School in Saanen – Gastaad takes grade school
students throughout the year and also holds summer cfirm. Children here
are taught in English, but they hear French and German around them all
In this way they quickly become skilled in skiing and other winter
sports and develop a strong interest in nature, which is all around
71. According to this passage, when parents send their children to
A. distance B. security C. quality D. size
72. From this passage we can conclude that
A. taking drugs is not a problem in all the European countries
B. taking drugs is not against law in some European countries
C. only teenagers take drugs in Switzerland
D. if a youngster takes drugs, he will be punished seriously
73. The writer of this passage holds the opinion that .
A. it’s better to study in Europe B. it’s better to
study in America
C. it is better to study with students from different countries
D. it is better to study in one’s own country
74. If you study in Switzerland, you may .
A. have a lot of homework to do every day B. learn much from outdoor
C. find the lessons are extremely easy D. be asked to learn
several languages at the same time
75. The writer wrote this passage with the purpose of .
A. showing us where Switzerland lies
B. persuading students not to take drugs in Switzerland
C. persuading parents to send their children to study in Switzerland
D. telling us the education system of Switzerland
Yo Mama Jokes第 II 卷 ( 非選擇題 35 分〉
第四部分: 寫作 ( 共兩節, 滿分 35 分 }
第一節短文改錯 ( 共 10 小題 ; 每小題 1 分 , 滿分 10 分 ) 此題要求改正
所給短文中的錯誤。對标有題号的每一行作出判斷: 如無錯誤 , 在該行右邊橫
線上畫一個勾 (√) 如有錯誤 ( 每行隻有一個錯誤〉 , 則按下列情況改正 ：
此行多一個詞 : 把多餘的詞用斜線 ( ＼〉劃掉 , 在該行右邊橫線上寫出該詞
此行缺一個詞 : 在缺詞處加一個漏字符号 ( ∧), 在該行右邊橫線上寫出該加
此行錯一個詞 : 在錯的詞下劃一橫線 , 再該行右邊橫線上寫出改正後的詞。
注意 : 原行沒有錯的不要改。
One summer night,I went to the bed, 76.
left my bedroom door open because it was 77.
very hot.During the night I woken up 78.
by the sound of a match being struck. You 79.
felt certainly there was someone in the 80.
roon1.Without thinking what I was doing , 81.
I shouted but jumped off the bed to catch 82.
the man.Suddenly I realize that the thief 83.
I after might be carrying a knife. So I 84.
went back and locked a11the door. 85.
short第二節 : 書面表達 ( 滿分 25 分〉
你叫李宏 , 你校在校園網站上刊登一條消息 , 爲一批來自加拿大的交流學生征
你用意申請接納一位 , 寫封 e – mail 說明你申請的理由。 ( 包括以下所具備
1. 我和父母會說英語 , 有助于交流。歐瑞維瑪.
3. 我家住在巢湖旁 , 可以玩賞賞識巢湖美麗的自然景色。
4. 祖父母擅長書法 , 繪畫 , 可以感受中國文化。
注意 :1. 詞數 2 100 字左右 ;
I hear that our school will– …•
第一部分 🙁 聽力〉 ( 每小題 1.5 分 , 滿分 30 分〉
1.B 2.C 3.A 4.C 5.A 6. B 7.A 8.B 9.B 10.C 11.A 12.A 13.C
14.B 15.B 16.C
17.C 18.A 19.C 20.B
第一節 : 單項填空 ( 每小題 1 分 , 滿分 15 分 )
21.C 22.A 23.D 24. A 25.D 26.A 27.D 28.C 29.A 30.C 31.B 32.B
33.C 34.B 35.D
第二節 : 完形填空 ( 每小題 1.5 分 , 滿分 30 分 )
36.B 37.A 38.D 39.A 40.B 41.D 42.D 43.B 44.A 45.A 46.C 47.B
48.D 49. C 50. B
51. C 52.A 53.A 54.C 55.B
Really Funny Jokes第三部分 : 閱讀理解 ( 每小題 2 分 , 滿分 40 分 )
56.B 57.C 58.A 59.D 60.B 61.D 62.D 63.C 64.B 65.C
66.B 67.C 68.D 69.B 70.A 71.B 72.D 73.C 74.B 75.C
第一節 : 短文改錯 ( 每小題 1 分 , 滿分 10 分 )
76.the bed → bed 81. √
77.left → leaving 82.but 一 and
78.I ∧ woken → was 83.realize → realized
79.You → I 84.after → was after
80.certainly → certain 85.door → doors
第二節 : 書面表達 (25 分 )One Possible Version
I hear that our school will welcome some Canadian students to
stay with us for two weeks. Students who would like to invite them to stay
can take part in it. I would like to try.
First, my parents and I can speak English well-That benefits us to
communicate with each other. Second, our house is big enough for he or
she to stay. Furthermore,I live near Chaohu Lake. The lake has
beautiful natural scenery, including hills ,forests and ancient towers
and temples. Last but not least, in my home, he or she will enjoy much
China culture because my grandparents are good at handwritin你看Scary Maze Gameg and
I think my family will give him or her a both interesting and
Thank you for your reading during your busy work. I hope that you will
go along me